JESUS SERMON ON THE MOUNT
XV. Overcoming a Critical Spirit
2-11-07
Ken Peterson
Mtt. 7:1-6
INTRODUCTION
Several years ago in Indianapolis, an 84-year-old woman was in a shopping mall. When she returned to where she’d parked her car, she was terrified in seeing two teenage boys sitting in the front seat with the stereo cranked up like they didn’t have a care in the world. She was angry and decided she could handle these punks herself. She pulled a handgun out of her purse, jerked the door open and, pointing the gun at them, yelled: You get out of this car right now and I don’t want to see you stop running! The boys, badly shaken were seen high tailing it out of the parking lot. Then, this feisty lady got into the car and tried to insert her key in the ignition. It wouldn’t fit. Thinking they’d somehow jimmied that up, she got out of the car to go look for help. Then to her chagrin, she noticed another car exactly like this one a couple of spaces over. With a sinking feeling, she went to check it out, and her keys fit. The other car had belonged to the boys who reported a car jacking by an old woman with gray hair and thick glasses.
Have you ever made a harsh judgment about someone, only to find out you were greatly mistaken? I think we’ve all been there, done that. We’ve condemned some action and later found we totally misinterpreted what was happening. Polly once served on a jury in another town that was hearing a case about an incident in one of the bars in town, one that was known to be quite wild. The jurors were taken on a tour of the bar to help them understand the layout. That evening, she was telling me about her experience and said, I hope someone from the church didn’t see me coming out of the Bulldog Saloon this afternoon. What would they think? Yes, indeed, what would they think? We could just hear it: I saw the pastor’s wife coming out of the Bulldog this afternoon with a bunch of people! As far as we know, that rumor never started.
We’ve all categorized and judged people by appearance rather than what’s inside judging by things like hairstyle, clothes, tattoos, or the number of body parts pierced. We pay more attention to and act differently toward people we consider beautiful than those we may consider unattractive. And, sometimes if we get to know someone who we’ve misjudged by some outward appearance, we are amazed at how wrong we were. We find out he or she really is a wonderful person.
Most of us, if we’re honest, find far too much of a critical spirit in ourselves. And, sometimes our Christianity only seems to make us more judgmental, less accepting of those who differ from us. As we become better (at least in our own eyes), we often have less tolerance for those who are not so good. Maybe we feel inside, I overcame this, so they should be able to as well... And tragically, people sometimes seem to feel less acceptance by the church than almost anywhere else in society. Sometimes this is an imagined rejection, people just think they will be or are rejected by the church because they are not good enough. Yet, unfortunately, at times this is true. I hope that is not the case with our church. Would you like to get free of a critical, judgmental spirit this morning and be more gracious, loving, and accepting? Jesus shows us the way.
Jesus, in this part of the Sermon on the Mount is offering us a spectacular freedom in our relationships with others in His simple command, “Judge not.” He wants to set us free to affirm and celebrate life. He gives us the keys to doing that by revealing the nature of judgmental attitudes in showing how:
1. they distort our vision;
2. and result in our own condemnation.
Then, Jesus opens the way for a heart and understanding that will usher us into the freedom of accepting one another in love.
JUDGING DISTORTS OUR VISION
Jesus uses hyperbole, as we’ve seen several times in this sermon, to draw attention to how our judgments skew our vision of others. The picture he paints is ridiculous: someone with a plank or log sticking out of his own eye, of which he is oblivious and instead noticing a tiny speck of sawdust in another person’s eye. The plank is our own sin that will always distort our vision. Through this exaggeration, Jesus is calling attention to the fact, that we’re never going to be in a position to rightly judge another person. Because of our own sins and imperfections, we’ll never be in a position to accurately assess another person.
Yet, we go through life labeling the people we meet, passing judgment by their looks, the way they speak or don’t speak, their houses, their yards, their cars, their intelligence, their spirituality, the way they behave, or the way their kids behave. There seems to be no end to our labeling. And once we put a label on someone, we are reluctant to see the person in any other way. George Bernard Shaw once said,
“The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor. He makes new measurements every time he sees me. All the rest go on with the old measurements.”
Isn’t that true? Because of something in a person’s past, or even their family’s past, we let that color our present judgment.
Those closest to us can be the biggest problem. Have you ever talked to a parent whose child has some really delightful qualities, but they are unable to see those things because they are so filled with criticism of the child’s inadequacies? They are so controlling of the way they want the child to be that anything contrary to that is a fault. Sometimes I talk to adults who tell me something like:
I think my dad was proud of me. At least others tell me he was. But I never heard it from him. All I heard from him was criticism, the ways I needed to improve and overcome my imperfections.
How sad. Maybe that dad operated under the mistaken notion that praise and affirmation might bring conceit. How often in counseling, I find at the roots of poor self-esteem or perfectionism or our driven-ness some critical comment made by a parent like: You’ll never amount to anything. or You’re too fat, you’ll never be popular unless you watch your weight.
A critical spirit often takes over in a marriage gone sour. When that happens, in counseling I usually find it’s a waste of time to point out some of the good qualities of the other person. They’ve become so critical they are absolutely blind and quickly counter any positive with a but... That spontaneity that seemed so free and nice and fun in the other person before marriage, now is seen only as undisciplined irresponsible behavior. The concern they felt and enjoyed from the other at one time now feels like interference and control.
Psychologist, Dr. Cecil Osbourne, observes that much of our well-meaning advice is not born of the Holy Spirit but out of an egocentric need to control others. How many hurtful, personal attacks begin with the disclaimer, Now don’t take this personally, BUT.... ? Have you ever noticed, those with the most friends, and who are freest in their approach to life are also the least judgmental? It makes sense. The more judgmental we become, the smaller the circle of those who meet with our acceptance:
- this person is too much this or not enough that;
- you cannot go there because there is something wrong with the people that own that business;
- you avoid this area because of the Hispanics, the blacks, or the native Americans;
- you cannot listen to that person or read that, because of what you know about them.
We all know people who see something wrong with everything and everybody and they are imprisoned in an exceedingly small world.
A non-judgmental attitude opens up the world to us to appreciate the people God places there. We can celebrate people’s lives, affirm them, appreciate them, and respond in delight and wonder at the variety in God’s creation. We can enjoy people without the prior assumptions that they should be different than they are.
God reminds us to leave judging up to Him: “Judge nothing before its time (I Cor. 4:5).” How do you know how everything is going to turn out? Do you know what God is still going to do with that person? And of course, you need to know the entire background and motivations before you can make accurate judgments. Indeed, “Judge nothing before its time.” We must let the story finish. And, ultimately we must wait until the Lord’s return. Only God knows everything and is without sin, so only He is able to make an accurate judgment.
JUDGED BY OUR JUDGMENTS
Another problem with judging is succinctly summarized by Jesus in vs. 2 For in same way you judge others, you will be judged.” There are three ways in which this is true.
The first is what psychology refers to as projection. It is totally unconscious, but often the trait we find most objectionable in another is our own problem area. The very things that bug us in another person may well be our own problem we aren’t acknowledging. While we may be unaware of this in ourselves, how often we observe it in others. We hear a person who is a very controlling person, who always seems to need to be in charge, say about another person they are having a problem with, I can’t believe how controlling they are! It drives me nuts! And we think (to ourselves), just look in the mirror. Thus, in judging others, we are judging ourselves because we’re declaring what’s wrong with us. Rom. 2:1 says the same thing, “...at whatever point you judge others you are condemning yourself because you who pass judgment do the same things.” If the other person’s greed or materialism, or selfishness bother you take a good hard look at your own heart. You might find the same junk there. An African proverb says, “The camel never sees its own hump, but that of its brothers is always before its eyes.”
A second way we receive judgment is that judging others makes us blind to our own faults. By condemning it in another, we feel we’ve dealt with it. We become blind to our need of grace in that area. Thus, we don’t repent and receive grace. Therefore, God’s judgment will be measured out to us because we haven’t repented and received forgiveness. Tragically, we’ve seen this in the fall of some famous preachers in our day finding that they were practicing some of the very sexual immorality they were vehemently publicly denouncing.
A third way we are judged is in the law of sowing and reaping. Jesus has already pointed out, Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy (5:7), and in the Lord’s prayer, taught us to pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors (6:12). In Luke’s version of this same teaching, he puts it a way that comes off a little stronger to me:
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:37‑38).
We reap what we sow. It is also true in human relationships. I remember talking to someone about her high school class reunion. She had a good friend whose mother had a terribly critical spirit that bothered both her and her friend. Now, 30 years later, she was shocked to see her good friend from high school with the same critical spirit her mother had shown.
The more we sow judgment of others, the more judgmental we become. The more we do it the more we become angry, vindictive, gossipy people. Thus, the kind of person we are is then a judgment upon us.
WHAT JUDGING IS NOT
Jesus’ “Judge not” can be confusing to us. Does it mean I should never evaluate, make any judgments about anything or anyone? Wouldn’t I then become a mere cipher as a person a milquetoast with no backbone, and no opinions? Can’t I have strong feelings about things or people? Won’t we be lost on a sea of relativity with no right and wrong? Isn’t there a place to point out what is wrong?
We know that taking judge not to these extremes is not what Jesus meant. He Himself makes some judgments on people and situations. Remember His calling the Pharisees hypocrites, pronouncing judgment on cities, and overturning the tables of money changers in the temple. What Jesus is referring to is an attitude, a critical spirit like that exhibited by the self-righteous Pharisees. Today, our society has taken this to extremes Jesus never meant in its obsession with tolerance that has no values basis. We get the impression today that nothing should be rejected EXCEPT a Christian moral viewpoint. On the contrary, Jesus is quite clear that there is objective truth we must uphold and defend, but it always must be done with loving, gracious, generous spirit. As James reminds us, Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13). And, Jesus says in Jn. 7:24, Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment. So, there must be a place for some judging.
Here’s a little chart I’ve come up with to help us see the difference between what I’ll refer to as a critical, judgmental spirit and Christian, Spirit-led, discernment:
A judging/ critical spirit Christian, Spirit-led discernment
1. Condemning, looks down on person, 1. Speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).
rejects. Truth guided by God’s Word.
2. Harsh, critical, exclusive 2. Gracious, kind, understanding, inclusive.
3. Gossips. 3. Prays.
4. Hates, destroys. 4. Loves, builds up.
5. Controlling, imposing. 5. Freeing, leaving results up to God.
Verse 6 in our text may not seem to quite fit here:
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.
I think this is a further call for discernment in our conversations with unbelievers. If you say something like, The Lord spoke to me in prayer... in the wrong circles, you may invite ridicule and rolled eyes and mockery. Now, any believer understands something like that, but the non-Christian world can take a statement like that and turn and trample you with it.
Also, this verse can be taken to mean, Don’t push. Jesus has just said, Don’t judge. Now He’s telling us, Don’t be pushy about your faith. It is a call to not be insensitive, force-feed our Christianity to others, or witness in inappropriate ways. Christians can be rude and out-of-tune with the context. If we are, Jesus says, we can get torn to pieces.
5 STEPS TO FREEDOM
#1 expand your understanding of God’s grace to you through an in-depth look at your own heart.
You may be judgmental because you never fully experienced the depth of your own sinfulness. While you may have repented of your sins, your vices, and your wrong acts have you ever realized how corrupt your very self is? Have you ever seen how your ego, your pride, the roots of your self-will entangle everything in your personality? Have you ever cried out with Isaiah, “Woe is me, I am undone!” (Is. 6:5) or with Paul: “I know nothing good dwelleth in me!” (Rom. 7:18). A healthy, accurate view of our own sinfulness and inconsistencies makes us more gracious to the other sinners in our lives.
#2 Repent of your desire to control the other person. Forgive them for not being like you think they should be. Let God be in charge of them. Die to your judgment let it go. Trust God to do what He desires with them when He desires.
#3 Break the cycle of criticism in your life through a fast from all criticism and judgments and fault-finding. This was an idea I got from Catherine Marshall. She said her personality type was one of a perfectionist, finding fault with herself and everyone else in world. The Holy Spirit impressed upon her to take a one day fast from ALL criticism and fault-finding. She said that doing that released incredible blessing and creativity. It was hard to believe, she said, but those around her seemed to get along and survive without her criticism and value judgments. Since then, she continued occasionally fasting 24 hr. from fault-finding when she found herself getting caught up in a judging spirit. It is a good idea, a radical way to regain equilibrium and balance in your life between a critical spirit and loving Christian discernment. You might be amazed at how well those around you manage without any negative comments from you.
#4 Pray in intercession for those you are having a problem with. Don’t pray for God to change them according to your specifications. Pray for insight and discernment into what is going on with them. Oswald Chambers writes: “God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.”
#5 Ask for a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit and His love in your heart. I read the story of a young man in the Appalachian area of Kentucky whose family had been embroiled in feuds with other families for generations. After he went to the altar in church one night and surrendered his life to Christ and experienced the power and warmth of Christ’s love in his heart, he stood up and faced the congregation saying, I ain’t got noth’n gainst nobody!
CONCLUSION
Don’t you want to be set free to celebrate and affirm life around you? Don’t you want to break out of the narrow box of your judgments and run in the infinite variety of the world God’s created and celebrate people’s rich diversity? Judging is hard work. Leave it up to God. You really don’t need to control all the people in your world. Instead of pushing your agenda on them, they’ll do better by your letting them go into God’s capable hands.
Mother Teresa got it right when she said:
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
And if you love people, you have no desire to judge them.”
JESUS’ SERMON ON THE MOUNT
XV. “Overcoming A Critical Spirit”
For Further Study and Reflection on Sermon for 2-11-07
Matt. 7:1-6
NOTE TO LEADERS: You probably can’t get through all of the
questions in your group time, so select the ones you think are most
important. They do not need to be in the numbered sequence.
a. What is the invisible element only God can know?
PRAYER
O God,
Forgive us for our critical, judgmental spirits.
We’ve all hurt others through our attacks or pushing our ways on them.
heal those we’ve hurt
guide us in going to make amends where we should.
And, we’ve all been wounded
help us forgive our attackers, slanders, critics, judges
deepen our experience of your healing grace.
In the grace-filled name of Jesus.